Looking back at the past - A conversation that started at the office

Just came back from the office and has the most interesting conversation with the one girl at the office. At first I didn't know what do expect because I was sitting outside smoking and minding my own business but then we got talking about me and me being gay and all the things that goes hand in hand with it. Actually a very good conversation - I really enjoyed it. It lasted for 30 minutes I think. Can't remember exactly how long we were talking. I came to realise the amazing similarities that there are between gay men and straight men. Yes shoot me for being blonde but I honestly thought there was huge differences.

Anyway the reason for this blog is that the conversation dealth with how one must deal with the past and be thankfull for the lessons that you have learnt from past experiences. On my way home I began to think (I'm seriously beginning to wonder if it's a good thing). I began to think of the four men that probably took me the longest to get over but also the four that I learned the most from considering what happened.

First there is Carl - A good guy and my first boyfriend. A bit of a smart-ass and a know-it-all but good. At first we had alot in common but near the end of our relationship I began to realise more and more differences. The reason for our break-up was not our differences but rather a mixture of a lot of things. What I learnt from Carl was not to be afraid to do stuff. Doesn't seem like much but ya. Certainly is alot for me.

Then there was Stephan - I really don't know where to begin with him. Amazing, Amazing, Amazing guy. I learned so much from him in the short time that I saw him that it's not even funny. Stephan taught me how to look at myself in a different light. Not a negative one but a positive one. He also taught me that you only live once so never regret what your going to do. No matter how fucked up it seems at that time, you got to do it. If you don't do it then you will never know how it feels. I did some pretty hectic stuff with this guy - none of which I regret anymore. He also made me realise how easy influencible I am and how small my heart is. Dont get me wrong. Me typing of how easy influencible I am doesn't mean he influenced me in a wrong way. He actually set the wheels in motion when it came to me changing myself and my whole outlook on life etc...

Warren - Another guy who I totally fucked things up with as friends. What I learnt from him was to give people the chance to explain themselves and not to jump to my own conclusions as I always did in the past. When I actually gave him chance to explain what really happned I felt crappy. Although it doesn't make up for what he did I still felt crap for not giving him time to explain.

Dion - Where do I begin with Dion? I'm going to keep this one short and sweet. What Dion taught me was never to put much faith in one thing because it only leads to dissappointment.

This is just SOME of the lessons that I learnt from these men. This is most certainly not the only lessons I learnt from them but it was most definately the hardest lessons to learn and that is why I mentioned them in this blog.