I’ve never been this accountable-less and within. I’ve never known focusless-ness on any form. I’ve never had this lack of ache for dalliance.To let go and let God in ways I have never even imagined.
These are not times for the weak of heart. These are the days of raw despondence. I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this.
One day I’ll find relief. I’ll be arrived and I’ll be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends. I have been running so sweaty my whole life. Urgent for a finish line. And I have been missing the rapture this whole time - of being forever incomplete.
Ever unfolding. Ever expanding. Ever adventurous and torturous, but never done. One day, I will speak freely and I’ll be less afraid.
Reborn and shivering. Spat out on new terrain. Unsure, unconvincing. This faint and shaky hour. Gun shy and quivering. Timid, without a hand. Feign brave with steel intent. Little and hardly here.
Day one, day one, start over again. Step one, step one. Not much making sense just yet - I’m faking it, 'til I’m pseudo making it.
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