Final Goodbye

on Saturday, September 19, 2009

I passed my reflection and saw someone else because what I see is your invention and not myself. I turned into your perfect boy who has become a total stranger to everyone including myself.

Now I see and I don't want to be you. It's all just an act and it's overrated. The truth is I'm wanting me back because I can't take this. I have got to be who I am underneath, who I gave up so you'll believe. You and I were all just an act, so overrated.

I let you control me but don't for one second think that you're perfect, just don't misstep. I hid away the best of me, too scared you'd notice.

Changing for a guy is overrated. Living in a lie is overrated. Always asking why is so overrated.

“Let’s give it one more try” a message from you reads. My only response “I don’t think so because last night, you said your one last lie”

I can’t let you wreck my plans. I’m planning to let you go and only one thing is true. I’ve only got one thing to do - time to delete you

Burning up all your pictures, tearing up all your letters. This is for the better. I am grabbing back all my power because one lesson I learnt from you is that I don’t need you.
It’s not time to say how much you care. I’m done; I think the time’s come to bring this thing to an end. I think this could be goodbye and you ran out of time.

All I want from you is for you to disappear. All I need from you is for you to not be here. I guess it’s time you got the news.

“Don’t speak” I told you. I couldn’t believe it happened. Our situation just wasn’t right. I have just one question – who do you think you are playing with because I never thought you would be like this – you were supposed to be there by my side.

When you say “I want you” I find myself not being able to believe it for the simple reason that you are always ready to give up on us and whenever I need you I find myself looking at empty spaces.

I needed you and you didn’t try to save me. You had one lame excuse after the other to never be true. I said I loved you and I thought you were the one I could turn to but instead I said goodbye without a fight.

I am past being worried that you are going to quit us over anything I do. I could trip and you would let me go just like that and everything that we were is starting to fade now except the pain. Guess you didn’t know the good from the bad.

Every time I tried to speak to you, you tried to stop me because every little thing I say is wrong. You say you're noticing but you never see that this is who I really am and the fact that you don’t believe it just confirms that we were never meant to be. It makes me wonder if it’s me you’ll live without or will you change your mind …

You know that when I say I want you I mean every single word. I am battling with myself because in my hour of need I still see time to try …

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