Why do I keep blaming myself when something doesn't work out?
Why do I make myself feel worthless?
It's just not worth it. Absolutaley not worth it. I make myself depressed and worthless. Why? Not because I want to but because indirectly people make me feel that I am worthless. I don't even think they notice it.
You may have the body, the self confidence, the looks or you may even be an extrovert but I am not one of those. Been hurt far to much to be self confident or feel good about the way that I look.
I probably need 4 hands to count the number of people that did me wrong this past 3 years (10 of which was from this year alone).
You get the people that lead you on and when you want things to go to a certain direction they totally freak out and drop the VERY OLD & TIRED "we should just be friends" line.
It's such a fucking old line. I just don't and probably will never be able to understand why people are afraid. What makes a 20-year old see things differently than older people?
Just because one person did you wrong doesn't mean that the whole world will do you wrong.... WAIT.... In Cape Town the story is different... If one person does you wrong then 90% of Cape Town will... Been there, done that and I got the T-Shirt that says "POES" on it.
Come to think of it... A book will be a good idea...... What shall I call it?
- Let's blame it on the past...
- Will the future be brighter than my shitty past?
- Capetonian's Guide to all the fuckers in Cape Town
- What not to do...
- Are all men assholes? I know so...
- Let's just be friends.... The tale of a 20 year old
1 comments:
This kinda discribes my situation aswell.
I feel the same about men, but sometimes just sometimes you find someone that will understand you, that will not take you for granted. That will love you for who you are inside.
That will make the past just seem like some distant memory, that will make everything seem OK.
Ill i have to do now is wait and hope.
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