Live your life and love

So it’s turning out to be quite a chilly Sunday afternoon with the wind blowing everywhere which makes cleaning my house pretty useless as dust will fill it again – insert sad face here –

So I’ve had quite a few things on my mind recently but struggled to put some of the things into words which is the main reason why I haven’t written in such a long while. I watched a movie this morning called “Fireproof” and although I was skeptical at first I must admit that I was surprised with the concept behind the story – a love dare of sorts.

Basically this couple was on the verge of divorce and the guys father told him to lay off the divorce for at least 40 days and do the love dare. Hesitant at first the guy proceeded with the love dare of which the most important lesson is to never leave your partner behind in the midst of a fire.

As he went through the days of the love dare I couldn’t help but think back on my own past and reflect on things that has occurred in the past whether it be relationships, my new surroundings and just every day challenges and how I would do things differently had a second chance come up.

Johannesburg VS Cape Town

So I’ve been in Johannesburg for over a year now and to my surprise I do still enjoy aspect of being here. I do think of Cape Town a lot more these days as when in the past Cape Town was a memory that only came around once in a while. The life that Johannesburg offers is so fast paced and work orientated and that is the aspect of it I like. The people are so different and so honest and it’s just something that makes the people from Johannesburg stand out so much more for me as opposed to the people of Cape Town who are rather clicky and self centered of sorts.

Relationships VS being single

This is once aspect I find myself to this day struggling with. Been single now for quite some time and although I enjoy it I wouldn’t mind having that special person in my life that I can confide in and share special things with. Although that’s things that I do want I must also point out that I will not sacrifice that I am and what I stand for just to enter a relationship. That is the biggest mistake I feel that people make these days. Loneliness consumes them that they do the most fucked up of things just to not feel alone anymore.

What they don’t realize is that if they cannot make themselves happy and fulfill themselves how on earth can they expect other people to provide that to them. I know how this feels because I have been there and believe me – running away from things doesn’t work – it always manages to creep up and find you.
I’m still single for the mere fact that I have not found the right person yet and in my opinion I will not settle for anything less than I know I deserve.

Voicing your opinion VS keeping quiet

I can be quite opinionated when the time calls for it and I have one simple approach when it comes to voicing my opinion – I say it as it is. I am not going to go around endless circles just because I’m scared of your response. I will say it as it is – rather hate me for being honest than hating me for lying to you is what I always say.

Now as healthy as voicing an opinion is and letting it all out I firmly believe that there is a time and place to keep your mouth shut and let things play out – it’s one lesson I’ve learnt countless amounts of times.

Living with regret VS moving on

Regret. One word that I know so well. I have done things in the past that I certainly am not proud of but with that being said I have come to accept that I was young, I was stupid and for the most part it seemed perfectly fine at the time but looking back now I find myself thinking of what the hell I was thinking at that point and time. For the most part I can laugh about it because childish and stupid is what it was.

Moving on is one of the most difficult things to do and as I sit here today I am still moving on from a lot of things that had occurred in the past. The reason it’s so difficult is because for the better part we don’t want to let go because we are afraid that a certain experience or certain memory won’t happen again but no sooner had I thought that then I realized that life happens when we least expect it – new memories and new experiences are formed all the time. Maybe not as good and fulfilling as the ones that was there before but worth while.

At a place now in my life where I’m allowing things to follow the path that they were destined to follow. I’ve stopped interfering in the natural order of things and one can almost say that I’ve become submissive of sorts. Stopped questioning certain things and just moved on.

I have said and will always say that the past contributed to who you are today but in no means did it make you the person that you are today. People are always, now more than ever, so caught up in things that happened in the past that they forget that there is now and there is the future to look forward to.

As I am writing this I do have to remind myself that I am 22 years old, I’ve got my whole life in front of me and I just have to enjoy every step of this amazing journey called life …

Live your life and love …

Smash into you...

Head down, as I watch my feet take turns hitting the ground. Eyes shut, I find myself in love racing the Earth. And I'm soaked in your love and love was right in my path, in my grasp and me and you belong

I wanna run and smash into you

Ears closed. What I hear no one else has to know because' I know that what we have is worth first place in gold and I'm soaked in your love and love is right in my path, in my grasp and me and you belong, oh…