At Last - A Song I Can Truly Relate To...

Something so benign for construed as cruelty

Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect

I don’t know who you’re talking to with such fucking disrespect

This shit’s making me crazy

The way you nullify what’s in my head

You say one thing do another

And argue that’s not what you did

Your way’s making me mental

How you filter as skewed interpret

I swear you won’t be happy til

I am bound in a straitjacket

Talking with you’s like talking to a sieve that can’t hear me

You fight me tooth and nail to disavow what’s happening

Your resistance to a mirror I feel screaming from your body

One day I’ll introduce myself and you’ll see you’ve not yet met me

Grand dissonance

The strings of my puppet are cut

The end of an era

Your discrediting’s lost my consent

Untitled - Take 2

Baby I love you. You are my life, my happiest moments weren't complete if you weren't by my side to my relation and connection to the sun with you next to me there's no darkness I can't overcome. You are my raindrops, I am the sea. With you and God, who's the sunlight I'll bloom and grow so beautifully. Baby I'm so proud, proud to be your man. You make the confusion go all away from this cold and messed up world.

'Cause years before I became who I am, baby, you were my man, I know it ain't easy, easy loving me. I appreciate the love and dedication. From you to me. And I see my whole future in your eyes. The thought of all my love for you sometimes makes me wanna cry. I have realized all my blessings. I'm grateful to have you by my side.

And Once Again Life Happens...

I sit here again in the office thinking about all the shit that has happned over the past couple of days. Let's just say that things started to spiral out of control and now I'm taking charge of it just to get some sort of control.

I don't know what to do in all honesty - this is probably the first time in my entire life that I don't know to approach a situation because no matter which way I approach it I still end up back at square one.

Numerous people have told me what to do and how to approach the situation but what do I do? Do I listen to them? Don't I?

At the end of the day the descision is mine. I don't know what to do. Being hit by a train would be an easy answer but unfortunately I am faced with life at the moment and I must deal with it.

When your heart ain't admitting you're not satisfied
You know that I know just how you feel
I'm starting to find myself feeling that way too

Such a mystery when he's here with me
It's hard to believe I'm still lonely

Energy...

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory

Cuz I put too much energy in him and me

Can't wait til I get through this phase

Cuz it's killing me too bad we can't re-write our own history

Such a mystery when he's here with me

It's hard to believe i'm still lonely

Chances fading now, patience running out

This ain't how it's supposed to be

Seems only like yesterday, not even gravity

Could keep your feet off the ground when you were with me

How can two be as one and become so divided now

There's no use hiding from the misery

Such a mystery when he's here with me

It's hard to believe i'm still lonely

Now I can feel you're changin me

And I can't afford to slip much further

From the person I was meant to be

I'm not afraid to walk alone

Not giving up on moving on

Before it gets too deep...

Cold Shoulder

You say it's all in my head

And the things

I think just don't make sense

So where you been then?

Don't go all coy

Don't turn it round on me like it's my fault

See I can see that look in your eyes

The one that shoots me each and every time

These days when I see you

You make it look like see-through

Do tell me why you waste our time

When your heart ain't admitting you're not satisfied

You know I know just how you feel

I'm starting to find myself feeling that way too

Time and time again, I play the role of fool

Even in the daylight when you

Try to look for things I hear but our eyes never find

Though I do know how you play

You shower me with words made of knives

Break The Dawn....

Oh there's somethin' bout the skylight tonight

Something that makes me know everythin's gon' be alright

There's somethin' in the way that the stars align

There's not a single moment I'mma pass by

The hour's now

The base is loud

The disco lights Shinin' through the crowd

We're holdin' time in our hands and it stops when we say

We say And we ain’t stoppin' 'til the morning light

We gotta hold back the sun, don't let it come

Ain't stoppin' for no one

The night is young

Don't let them turn on the lights

Let us decide when they play that last song

The night is done

When we break the dawn

Oh there somethin' on the surface right now

Somethin' the keeps me movin' diggin' deeper down

So I just let the speakers speak to me

Vibrations movin' on the floor all around

The night is done

When we break the dawn

The daylight scene never hurt nobody

And if the DJ decides there ain't no more party

'Cause we're turnin' when we're good and ready

We step outside Til the sunrise

Wait up and let me...

We ain't goin' nowhere 'til we good and ready

Im Blogging Again.........

Sitting in the office now - had a chat with Louw on the balcony and just taking it slow until the boss comes in.

Thinking back at the weekend which was actually a wonderful weekend. So much happned. Made new friends which for me is quite an accomplishment as I find it very difficult to make friends - never once did I feel like I was being judged. Wonderful group of people they are.

Conversations that could go on for hours and conversations that never ceases to amaze me. Where were these people? Right in front of me the whole time I guess but I was too blind/scared to approach or acknowledge.

My eyes went open last night - by open I mean lets just say that the lights went on. Two and two was put together. I saw things differently or from a different perspective - all of this happned over a cup of tea and a cigarette - can you believe it?

I wouldn't say that my brain is about to explode because that would be me being a bit over dramatic but imagine that your being pulled from the left to the right non-stop and then at the same time pressure is being applied from let me count 1.....2.....3.... sides which doesn't make the pulling that much better - it just puts alot of unneccesary strain on me.

I have so much questions - non of which are answered... How do I get these answers? Do I just plain outright ask them or do I leave them so that life will eventually answer them.

Looks like life is handing me another curve ball. Will I be able to dodge this one or will it hit me straight in the face?

This is me for now... Over and out...